Peapod

sierra cox OCtober 1, 2008 today i reviewed my past with my father an d before we left our home.

Sage Tomsky October 5th 2008- Life’s changing slowly and sadly. I feel a sharp pain when I look into my four children’s eyes. It's so hard to believe that we have to leave our homes after many years to a place with many stories. At first when I was aware that the there was a war I never thought that Jews would be the main target. After a while the war seemed like it blew over. Now and then we would hear horrible stories, but I never thought twice about them being true. It all started to change when the German army cars came into our town. The German soldiers were looking as if they were full of greif with their steel helmets. I thought to myself they don't seem that bad after all? Some of our neighbors like the Kahn Family hosted a soldier and said how polite, but distant he was at the same time. A little bit after we were put into two ghettos. It seemed like everything was returning to normal. Before I knew it things will never be normal. Everyone was in our backyard when the gate opened and the former tradesman who now was a policeman signaled me to talk. My heart sank and I knew that this wouldn't bring us good news. It seemed as if all the people who were with me knew it too. As walking back into the gate I felt sick to my stomach that I couldn't even look up at all the innocence people. I told them the main thing that was going to happen to us Jews was "deportation." Thinking to myself how are we not citizens in a country we lived in for our whole lives? This very thought made me so uneasy. After Moshe the Beadle said to me" I warned you" I just felt a betrayal by the Germans. I felt as if I betrayed my family. Everything was taking away after that it seemed as if we no longer had freedom. They wanted all the Jews to wear a star and I didn't mind it at all. Everything seemed like it was happening very slowly. We had to move into the smallest ghetto because we were going to be the last transport to leave. What happened last Sunday was the same thing, but worse. I couldn’t stay strong any longer and I began to cry. I knew my kids looked up to me it was just too hard to pretend to be happy anymore. We finally got to the little ghetto. When our old servant Martha came crying to us about how she wanted my family to go to her village to seek shelter I didn’t want to. No way is my family going to be separated. Finally the day came when we left and started our journey. Our journey stoped at one point a two officers came to the car and told us of some rules. Then we were off again. Madame Schachter stories of fire made me feel uneasy. Was she really telling us something or was she really going out of her mind? Finally arriving at a place with barb wire, flames coming out of the chimney, and the smell of death we all knew this was the camp. Not any other camp it was at Birkenau, reception center for Auschwitz. Then I was seperated from my wife and daughters. I took Elie and we moved farther away from them. Hearing the words that the building with the flames is going to be our grave gave me a wake up call. Fear started to build up inside when I thought of being seperated from Elie. I didn't want to wait around and watch Elie be hurt. I wish that he could've went with his mother instead of me. I started to cry and this time I couldn't get the thought of my family going into the creamatories. Then I blessed the Eternal Lord of the Universe one last time. We went into barracks and I told Elie not to show your strength. After we got our hair cut off we wandered in the crowd and saw some of our friends from our town. Then we were being told how Auschwitz was a concentration camp and not our homes. I had to use the bathroom and I went up to the German Soldier. The German Solider struck me right then and there I knew we were nothing in their eyes. I told Elie not to each much because tomorrow would be another day. Stein would visit us every day. When hearing Elie ask about his mother and Tzipora it also made me think where are they? We Finally got transported to a new camp called Buna.

Haley Hirschfield 10/05/08

The days are long and lonely ever since my husband has been sent away to be a Nazi Guard at the concentration camp. I miss him terribly and the only thing I have left of him is the letters he sends me. The last one came 2 months ago. His letters read;

 Winefred, My dear beloved Winefred, I can’t stand being away from you for such a long time. I apologize for taking so long to write, but it’s hard to find a spare minute around here. We transported the Jews from their home town last week and are taking them to a concentration camp. I’ve been traveling for a little over a week now and am growing very tired of sleeping in the same room with other men and not having you by my side. I will write again as soon as we arrive at our destination. I love you and hope to be coming home soon. Love,   Carl Winefred,  We have arrived at the concentration camp today. It’s disturbing seeing all the family’s split up after we promised they wouldn’t be. The train ride was miserable and the smell really got to me. I’m so glad to finally be at  Auschwitz and to be stationed somewhere for a while. I was getting so tired of moving around. I saw this little boy with his father. He was so close to being cremated last night, but now he’s being put to work out of the camp somewhere with many other men. All the stronger men work cremating the people that they have lived with and befriended. I don’t know how much longer I can stand to be a part of this, but I have no choice. I will try and write you again soon. I love you. Love,   Carl This war is tearing me apart. I read these letters over and over so I can keep myself convinced that he will be back. I try to listen to as many news reports as I can about what’s going on, but they tell me so many different things and none of them match what Carl has been telling me. I can’t believe they would be so inhumane to these people. It breaks my heart to know that my husband is forced to help the Nazi’s in their quest for victory. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about how the Jews are suffering and how the news is all lies. It disgusts me and I hope to hear better news soon, but until then I’m left with terrible pictures in my head of what the truth could possibly look like. I hope to see this war end soon, before to much innocent blood is spilled.



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Sierra Cox October 7, 08- i feel helpless i have moved to different camps even though i am a lucky one for beening able to stay with my father. i feel worth less than a the mud i walk on. i've been beat twice, and watch others die, where is god? it is now me and my father our last hope is each other. i feel as though i had let him done some how by losing my gold tooth. and when i wasa whipped i know my father felt much worse and more pain than i did. as i watched people get hung i wanted leave get as far as possible, i cried when i watched the servant, sad-eyed angel get hung.======

Sage Tomsky October 7 2008- Once Elie and I went through three days of quarantine we had to get put into a unit. The Kapos came and picked us as if we meant nothing of value. This guy Juliek was explaining to Elie that we were going to work in an electrical unit. I guess we have landed in a good unit? Thank god I could work right by Elies side and even though we couldn’t speak often it was nice company. It hurt my heart that day when Elie got in the way of Idek. He was beating the only thing I cherished and I couldn’t do anything about it. I knew how Elie had felt when Idek beat him bare because he in fact did the same thing to me, but with a bar. It drew so much angry from beneath my skin that I couldn’t stop this evil creature from hurting innocence people! After I told Elie not to give Franek his gold tooth he harassed me over and over again because I couldn’t march right. Finally Elie had to go through pain and give up his only thing left worth of value. On Sunday when the bells rang late all of the guards left. We heard airplanes roaring over the camp. It felt so good to feel as if we can win and defeat the Germans! I told Elie about the 7 buildings that were flattened out. I can see how joy filled his eyes for once I saw hope in his eyes. The day that the three gentlemen who were getting hanged made tears roll down my face. It was so hard to see how hopeless these men were. This place was truly breaking me apart.

Haley Hirschfield 10/07/08

I often wonder if he will be the same person when he finally comes home to me. All the things he saw and told me about in letters would really change a person. It’s inhumane, and disgusting what goes on in those camps. I’ve heard from Carl once since the last time I wrote. This letter was the most depressing yet. It scares me that it’s only getting worse. He wrote;

** Winefred, ** ** When I wrote to you last, I mentioned that I didn’t know how much longer I could take it here. I never imagined that things could get much worse. I watched them hang a young boy recently, it was so terrible the executioner refused to carry out his job. SS officers had to carry out his duty for him. ** ** Our camp got bombed a few weeks ago too. The worse part about it was the only victim wasn’t killed by the bombs. They were killed by a few of us, German soldiers, because he couldn’t resist the temptation of unguarded food. He knew he would get shot, but was so hungry he didn’t care. ** ** It doesn’t even stop there. Remember that boy I told you about that was so close to cremation. Well I saw him and a guard beat him to a bloody pulp before he was satisfied. It made me sick to my stomach. I hope this war will end soon; I want to get out of this place and come home to you. I love you. ** ** Love, ** ** Carl Sierra Cox Octuber 10,2008 i was put in a seperate block from my father but it is ok since i stilll get to see him and talk to him. After new years thing s seemed to be going down hill i thought i was going to lose my father and every one was kinder to me but then my father lived. Then i had toget surgery on my foot beccause it had become infected and had grown puss in it. then after the surgery the camp was going to be evacuated because the liberators from russia was coming to close and so i went to find my father and we didcided taht i was going to walk with him, latter finding that the hospitale was later liberated. and so we left and with my busted foot.

** Haley Hirschfield 10/15/08

My husband was gone for many years and I have accumulated quite a few more letters from him. I wish I could see his face and hear his voice. I have grown accustomed to waking up without him every morning, but I still think for a split second that he will be lying next to me. It’s like a terrible dream that never ends.

** Love, ** ** Carl ** ** Love, ** ** Carl ** ** Love, ** ** Carl ** The last letter came a few days ago. I am excited to see this war over and can’t wait to see my beloved husband. I can’t believe the things they did to people in those camps and words can’t explain how happy I am to see it over. I will never forget this part of my life. I just hope I can move past it and that my husband can handle everything he saw out there. This war truly changed my life.
 * Winefred, **
 * Oh, the days are like weeks and the years feel like eternity. The brutality towards the Jews is like a boy beating his dog for misbehaving. They are losing their will to live and some have even given themselves to be killed during selection. I have become fond of keeping an eye on this young boy that I have seen around and am sure I have told you about before. His name is Eliezer I believe. His father is growing old with the stress and lack of food that we provide. **
 * Selection has become a weekly thing now too. The men who look weak and appear to be unable to work are chosen to be killed. Eliezer’s father was close to being selected a few times. It appears this boy’s will to live is within the life of his father. Even when he was in the hospital he was sending rations of his food to his father when he could. **
 * There are rumors that the Russians are getting closer. I hope that means I get to come home to you soon. I will write you as soon as possible my wife. I love you and miss you terribly. **
 * Winefred, **
 * We have just arrived at our new camp. We had to travel farther in to **** Germany **** because the Russians were getting to close. The amount of people who died during our travel was tremendous. **
 * I have not seen my young friend yet and I hope him and his father survived our journey. It would be a shame to never see him again. I hear news about the Russians getting closer everyday and my hopes of returning to you are growing. I have much to do today so I must make this one short, but I promise you I will write soon. I love you. **
 * Winefred, **
 * Today is the day! The war is finally over and I am on my way home to you. Few Jews escaped the final executions, but those who did don’t seem to know how to react. **
 * I found Eliezer not to long ago and finally decided to talk to him after keeping an eye on him for so long. He told me that his father had died not to long ago. He has no family left and seems very empty. I think he may blame himself. **
 * I think this letter shall reach you before me so keep a look out, I should be home any day now. I can’t wait to see your smiling face. I love you. **

Sierra cox OCtober 20, 2008 the end is near my father is dead and i was moved to the chilidren's block, and i was there till the liberation in april. after the liberation life would never be the same i feel so alone and empty.