Sparktacular

Lori 10/3/08: For Meat first, Ibelieved that the Germans, even though they look down upon the Jews, that they lived peacefully together. Later, iwas confused on why myfather was very quiet, and started getting perplexed as he said the "word": deportation. Westart wondering where wewould go and what to take. After that an old friend of dad showed up and offered to help us as soon as word gets out. In the morning, i woke up scared out of my mind trying to wake up my father, who seems as though i had gone completely insane, but realized what i meant and got ready as quickly as he could. After breakfast, the Hungarian soldiers called us out and told us to leave, leaving the street looking like a marketplace. Days later while packing, the soldiers called us again, and told us to run, and while so this is the first time i ever saw my father cry. As we leave, we climb onto the cattle carriers, the soldiers smiling for some reason. Once the train started moving, we are on the move.

Lori 10/4/08: We finally got out of the carts and arrived in Birkenau then were threatened if we try anything funny we would be "shot like dogs". Suddenly a lady named Madame Schachter had gone completely insane, screaming about fire. She then calmed down a little while. As we settle in, we were ordered to do absurd things like form in a line of five, changed our names, taking off our clothes, then threatening us to put us in the furnance. Later i saw my own father struck for asking where the lavatories are. Days turned into weeks, and we have changed in appearance seeing we had very little to eat and worked from dawn to dusk.

Lori 10/6/08: We are sent to a new camp in Buna, and at first it didn't look very appealing but it proved a lot nicer than the last, and we were very lucky coming here. The head of the camp didn't any better than the camp did, and was just as imitating. When I realize that these Germans had a "liking" for children, I just shook it off and tried to focus on my work, and decided to stay as close to my dad as possible. Later after medical examinations, we went to an orchestra block, and this surprised me. What were we to do with music? A few days later I was told to go to the dentist, whether I liked it or not. Knowing the dentist only wanted my gold crown, I pretended I was sick for about two weeks to keep his hands off of it. Later I found out that he was to be hanged, and I have no sympathy about it. As I worked there was a French girl who worked beside me until this man started beating me for no apparent reason, and the girl came to me, feeling sorry. And I could swear that we met somewhere before we were sent. Then later I had to watch my father being beaten with an iron bar for trying hard to lift a Diesel engine onto a train and failed. At that moment anger burned in my heart, but I held my tongue not only for his safety, but mine as well. Later my gold crown was taken away, much to my displeasure. Around nighttime I tried to ship shape my father into fighting style, much to the others amusement. Days later I came upon Idek lying with a girl, much to my amusement, but unfortunately got caught and was punished with twenty-five whips. One Sunday, there was a cauldron of soup lying in the open, but we didn't dare touch it in fear of our lives. Suddenly, there was bombing, and we smiled in glee; the Americans would come and rescue them! A week later we watch as a few people, including a child, walk up to the gallows and I watch as they hang limply. No words could ever express the feeling I was experiencing, though, because I wasn't sure how to feel.

Danielle 10/7/08: Dear diary: Today was a fairly swell day. It was my first day on the job as a Nazi soldier. It's a lot to digest so to speak. Some of the other Germans like the younger boys more than they should. I'm utterly appauld at the very thought of it! Jews are for killing and totruring; not for molesting! Anyways, I helped move all of the Jews to another camp. It's difficult telling them what to do and how to do it if they don't understand your language.I've been called away to another base diary so I will reaquaint with you another day.

Danielle 10/7/08: Note to self: Never let any of the Jews think you're weak. The second you do you become more vounerable. Useless Jews. We got bombed again today. It's begining to aggrivate me to the extreame. This isn't necisarily what I was hoping for when I had enlisted. Bombs, murders of young innocent children, pregnant women being gutted like fish for experiments, and young Jew boys being raped for pleasure. Too much for a 24 year old to swallow all at first, but who knows; maybe I will adjust. Today, I had to beat a women off of her child. She was just trying to protect her daughter, yet because you teenage daughter was pregnant she needed to be convincated for further gutting...a boy was found walking around the camp therefore another soldier had to give him 25 lashes on the back. His crys out to everyone that had to watch made me want to go steal the whip away from the soldier and then beat him with it to see how it makes him feel. I really hope I get over all of these urges I have against my own side. But that will be saved for another day diary.

Lori 10/8/08: Summer was coming to an end, and soon it was to be the last day of the year. I wonder to myself why isn't God helping us out of misery as he did for the Israelites when they were under slavery and Moses delivered them out? Where was our messiah at our darkest hour? Were we meant not to survive? Why has my Lord turned against us and allowed the devil to do as he pleased to us all? Why should I even bless Him for not even helping us?! I no longer believe in a Happy New Year since it really isn't here. After Yom Kippur's Day men taunt me of how Buna was years ago and I could not take it and left. The day after we were tested for our speed, and unsurprisingly I passed. I became increasingly annoyed whenever the bell rang and I have to listen to it. However, my father hadn't passed the test and has to stay behind in the camp, much to my anguish. Heartbroken, I marched along with Tibi and Yossi, their comforting words not really doing any good. Later as we go we wathc Akiba Drumer leave, and I feel sorry of how much faith that he had lost, and promised him we would remember the Kaddish. Work was getting harder, more miserable, and more cruel. Winter had come, and that made it even ten times worse for all of us. Fortunately, on Christmas and New Year's Day we had a day off. I couldn't stand the cruelty anymore as my feet seem to be getting frosbite, but I had a choice of life and death. Later I went to the hospital and a man tells me to get well soon or I could be sent away, and that was the last thing he said and no more. The next morning the doc came and tried to make me relax, although I really doubt it. As the operation went on, I felt as though my leg was missing, and decided to wait until I am well again. Two days later a man said that Hitler will fulfil his goal, and I thought it sounds all fortune telling, from the way it sounds. Later I overhear the head of camp talking with other soldiers of hiding us and then exterminating us, and I ask father what we must do, but he didn't answer any of my questions, very deep in thought. In the morning of leaving, we quickly gather and start marching toward our new home. Again.

Lori 10/14/08: We walk faster and faster not only on the soldier's rambling, but to keep us warm at the same time. In darkness, lights explode, showing us where to head, and as we walk I was getting colder, but I keep lecturing myself to keep moving if I want to live and actually survive. Later a boy named Zalman was running out of breath and then he fell, an I never heard of him again. My father came up to me, also out of breath, but we continue on, cold and numb as we were. From time to time I close my eyes for a little bit even as I run. After an hour we rest, and we went inside a shed and I fell asleep, only to be awakened by my father. When I got out it seemed that death itself has entered and is lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right time to claim what belongs to it. I was then allowed to sleep, after my father and i took turns reluctantly. Later an old man appeared, asking for where his son was, but we did not know, and so we carried on our jorney, again being unmercifully cold. As we enter a barrack I was reunited with Juliek, and couldn't find out why he hid his violin the whole time. Then I tried to sleep, and so did my father, but as I woke up I found Juliek dead along with his destroyed violin. We then stayed at Gleiwits for about three days, then after we got out of the barracks and I was separated from my father to the stronger group. Hours went by and we all grew weary of the cruel coldness, with no roof, only blankets over our heads. Then we were sent off. My father sat huddled by me, no doubt cold, as I began wondering what was the point continuing living through this misery. I was then snapped out of my thoughts as the train stopped then soldiers shouting at us to take out all the ones who are dead, and at first I thought my father was dead, but a couple slaps on the face proved me wrong. Soon we were on our way, again, and were given no food and lived on the snow. Days and nights passed to when I have lost count. Then one day the train stopped and a man threw a few crumbs of bread at us, this causing a stampede to reach them. Years later, the same thing happened, the men tearing at eachother for a piece of crumb of bread, and a lady threw money at us, wanting to give "charity," but it resulted two kids in a deathly struggle. Then an old man came to me, hiding some bread under his shirt and started eating it, when someone started attacking him for it, and surprisingly was killed under the pressure of his own son, and other men came upon the child, and killed him as well. I was fifteen years old now. In the wagon, there was also my father's friend Meir Katz. On the third night someone was trying to strangle me, and all I could do was call to father, who called to Meir Katz, who couldn't move afterwards even if his life depended on it. At the last day it so chilly everyone had to move to avoid getting a frosbite. However, someone died during this process, and even more people start crying, feeling close to death, no one having any strength left. It was then when Meir Katz moaned about why the soldiers wouldn't just shoot us all at the same time. That same evening, we reached to our destination, Buchenwald, while Meir Katz remained behind. As we get out, we are formed into fives once more, but this time my father stops, and was about to "rest" and told me to go on, much to my fury. But I did as he asked and later went back to find him sick as a wild beast. I went to get him coffee. Later after the baths I went back to him, only having him ignoring me for some reason that I could not understand. As he was going to tell me where he hid his money, I took him to the surgeon, who refused to help. Then another doctor came, sneering that the sick were lazy, making me to the point of strangling him, but I stood at my place. After I came back for some bread, my father was wailing that the other patients were hurting him, and after I tried to do the same to them, it still did no good. A week went by like this, and the head advised me to care for myself instead of my father, and I consider after a little while. Later my father craved water, and I had to watch him being struck to keep quiet. I was very afraid, but went to bed, hearing his moans and shuddering. The next morning I didn't find my father and all I could think of was his last word was my name, but I could not weep. I had to stay at this godforsaken camp until April 11th. I have nothing else to say; it didn't matter. After my father's death, nothing mattered anymore. As I was sent to a children's block, I could only think of eating, no thoughts of mother or father. On the fifth, history would change forever; this was the end, Hitler would keep his word. There was nothing any of us could do. The elder ones told us to go back to our blocks since the Germans would shoot us. And so we went back. On the tenth of April there were still twenty thousand of us in camp. The Germans decided to finish us all at once. So we were gathered at the assembly square. But suddenly there was explosions, and for the first time, we saw an American tank at the gates. Our first act was hunger, not revenge, not for families, but just bread. One day I gathered up my strength I was able to see myself, and I saw, in the mirror, a corpse gazing back at me. The corpse's gaze, as he stared into mine, has never left me. Melissa: My son has taken up training with Moshe the Beadle, He is too young to begin learning the more complex parts of our religion. Yet i am proud that he is so interested. Moshe the beadle went missing for a while and came back spewing nonsense about Germans shooting Jews and killing babies! Ridiculous! Poor sop, he has completely lost his mind. The Germans have come, but they appear to mean us no harm at all. One of the Germans, housing in our neighbors home, is even considered to be a fine gentleman. He even gave Madame Kahn a box of chocolates! Such nice people. The Germans have closed down all the synagogues, practically every rabbi's house is now a house of prayer. No one is allowed to leave their house holds on pain of death. Moshe the Beadle ran to our home yelling "I TOLD YOU!" poor man, completely has lost his mind. Today we have been asked to hand over any valuables. I barried our savings in the basement. Of course I wasn't going to hand over all our money! The Germans have made two large ghettos into our town. Tension is rising, though the town just keeps on partying like there is nothing wrong.. It is actually kind of nice having our own Jewish community. I have been called to a strange meeting. it appears we are too close to the front. We are going to a place to work in Hungary. Not too bad. But I cannot keep from thinking about those dreaded concentration camps they keep on talking about on the radio. Yesterday we packed up to get ready to go, i am so weary, they made us run to a smaller ghetto than our too big ones. I am afraid, we spent the night in someone else’s house and this morning we were herded onto a car like cattle! We are out of the country, me fears are growing into something real.. Madame Shachter has lost her mind, every night she gets up and shouts “FIRE FIRE!” and points to the same spot in the truck. Her boy begs her to keep quite but she will not. Finally some young people got tired of it and started to beat her, in attempt to keep her quite. today was the last time she called out fire. There was a fire this time, a big one, the smell of burning flesh was pungent. Crematories. I have been separated from my wife and child, it was a dreadful day, my only goal now is to stay close to my son. i was sicked with fear as we walked by people burning in the crematories. Fear hat twisted my stomach into knots every moment i was thinking is that to be our fate? I could not bare seeing my son die before my eyes, the faces of burning children is engraved in my mind. I could not sleep that night. Today i woke up and we were ordered to run around, then we took a hot shower and were examined by doctors. I asked what was to become of us but i was smacked in the face so hard i hit the ground. MY son looked upon me with fear, i told him it didn’t hurt at all. The days have become routine. we work and we work. Melissa: It has been so long since I last wrote, finally we departed from Birkenau to go to Auschwitz. The head of our block was a kind Polish man. Things seemed to be going pretty good, until he was suspended for being to humane. Our new head of the block was a big burly man. he decided that we had been in Auschwitz for too long and we were to be sent to Buna. On our way there the guards were not shy about flirting with the German women. When we reached Buna the gates slammed behind us. The man at the head of the tent seemed rather nice, he got us soup, bread, and margarine as soon as we got settled in. i wasn’t paying attention to my son as he talked to one of the assistants talked to him i was to worried about myself to notice what they were talking about. then we were sent out side to heave our teeth checked by the doctor, than we undressed and ran around a bit then we marched to our new block. I was constantly getting out of step, finally we made it to our new block. According to those around us we had gotten into a good block. Time started to go by with out meaning. one day my son told me that Franek, a man in charge of us, that he wanted his cold crown. I told him vehemently not to give it up. But after that Franek constantly hit me while we were out marching. finally the torture stopped, though i don’t know why. A few weeks before the poles left, my son was whipped 25 times. I do not know what he could have done to have brought it upon him but alas the people around here punish others for no reason..

Today there was an attack on Buna! we were herded into a room with cooking soup in the middle of it. We all stared at it frightened. I was so hungry. i just wanted one sip of that delicious soup. one man tried to seek some but as soon as he put his head into the bowl he was shoot, he screamed and fell to the ground withering for a few seconds and then he died. After that we went back to our rooms and slept. It has been a week since I last wrote, they hung up new gallows, apparently they are starting to get worried about revolt. After that i have seen many more hangings one was a a beautiful boy. to watch that poor kid be hung left a ache in my heart. On the end of the Jewish year we all got out and prayed to our god with all our might, I think that my son no longer believes in the faith, sadly neither do I... After that i have seen many more hangings one a a beautiful boy to watch that poor kid be hung left a ache in my heart. On the end of the Jewish year we all got out and prayed to our god with all our might, I think that my son no longer believes in the faith, sadly neither do I... Me and my son were put into different blocks after that, a few days ago we had selection, I passed! i was so relived. Today it turns out that they had written down my name without my noticing. i gave my spoon and my knife to my son. I am sickened with fear. I do not want to die!!!! i escaped the second selection WHAT A RELIEF!!!!! One man was not as luckey as i he was constantly talking about it being the end... also there was this old rabbi that kept muttering to himself one day he told my son that "this is it god is no longer with us." I felt no pity, i was just glad that i was alive. He asked us to say the kaddish for him when he died for he was going to offer his neck and die in advance. We forgot to say the kaddish...

Winter has come, things are even worse now. it is freezing cold out all the time and we work and work. Sometimes i cannot fell my fingers and i fumble. But after awhile you get used to lifting up the cold stone. Today was christmas and tommorow there is new years. We have no work then. The soup is thicker. My sons leg has seemed to have gone swollen. He is to have an operation on it. Now and then he sends me some extra bread. Elleizer had the operation today, they didn't put him to sleep, it must have been very painful. After today he is to stay in the hospital for two more weeks, i cannot help but to feel jealous that he gets to relax and i have to continue working but it is for the best i hope that he gets better soon. its been Two days after my sons operation there is a roumor that the front is drawing near to camp, genraly these are just false hopes; but it appears to be true this time, i can hear gun shots in the distance. It is the same day, the Germans are going to evacuate the camp i hear that we are going futher into Germany, i hope the red coats get here first. Eliezer came running up to me, i had heard that they were going to kill the patience. i had been concered for my son but he came out and said that he could walk. I hope we shant regret it. The people left behind were illeminated by the Russians themselves. My sons foot is openly bleeding, we were permitted to get any of the clothing out of the storage that we like. I did not sleep very well that night. The next morning we looked ridiculous in all of our clothing. Eliezer tried in vain to find a big shoe for his swollen foot, eventually he just tied a blanket around it. at dusk we left block. That was a few days ago today we are running as fast as we can, the SS shoot anyone that stops for breath, i am so weary, but i must keep running, a boy running next to my son couldn't make it, he stoped to use the bathroom and was tramppled under thousands of others. I just wanted to stop and rest, to just die and feel no longer. Then we reached a small village at dusk. Elie was so tired and just sat right down, i wanted to join him but i knew that we needed shelter, i got him up and told him to come with me to a small shed, i had to keep him alive, that was all that mattered. "come on, come on ..." once we were in the shed Elie imeadiatly fell asleep. I was on the verge of crying, i felt so old, "come Elieizer get up don't fall asleep in the snow its dangerous." "come on son come on" i couldn't lose my son not now. We got up and went out of the shed, it was so quiet, like everything was covered in deaths dark shroud. Depression overwhealmed me. "Lets go back to the shed" Elie lameted. I agreed. Once in i told him that he could go to sleep that i would watch over him and make sure he didn't die. It turns out that i started to dose then my don woke my and then i realized something..... I smiled. The next morning my sons foot was completely frozen, he didn't seem to care much though. When we finally reached the next consetration camp, we were knocked over and were crshed underneath numerous bodies of others. Crushed under sveral bodies... i thought that i would suffocate to death, but i managed to find a spot whre i could get enough air. my sons muffeld voice came to me out of the darkness "Father, how are you?" "Well!" I answered as loud as possible. i tried to sleep, then out of the darkness came the sound of a violin. What madman would be playing a violin now? Juliek, the polish boy who was in our old block. i listened to the music and tried to relax. I slept, when i awoke juliek was dead his violin amshed and next to him, i shall never forget his face. That was yesterday, today we slept in the barracks and in the morning we were aroused. There was to be a selection i was sent away with the weak, Elieizer chased after me, i the confusion there were gun shots, some died. Everyone was to leave then after an half an hour of marching we reached a trian station, we waited silently for the trian to arrive. The SS gave us our ration of bread, there was no water so we ate the snow off of the peoples back infront of us. the SS laughed. Finally the train arrived. 100 of us to a carriage we had grown so thin since we started on this trip of death. I fell into a deep sleep, i awoke to my son slapping my face, he had saved my life, the SS were about to haul me out and count me as dead. From then on we lived on snow, we were no longer given bread. Sometimes we would go by German townships, once a workman through out a piece of bread, We fought eachother to death just to get a few crumbs. He seemed to take intrest in that, as if we were entertaining. Soon lots of workmen took intrest in this, one day i witnessed a son kill his father just for a measly pice of bread. I prayed that me and my son would never become that way... Elie was only fifteen... Tonight Elie was almost choked to death, i called over a old friend of mine and he freed my son, i do not know why he attacked him. LAter my friend, his name was mier katz, todl me that his streagth was failing him, i encouraged him not to lose faith in himself. But he was finished, he wept bitterly. Tonight everyone cried in pian of the cold, one man had the idea to get up and walk so we all wouldn't die. All of us started to cry out into the darkness. many died that night. I was at the end of my ropes, when we got to the showeres the was such a long line i just wanted to rest, to sleep, so tired. My son tried to stop me from going to my death.the sirens came on and the SS drove us to our blocks, i wanted to sleep, i was so thirsty, so tired, i awoke with a fever, i looked around, delerious. Then i spotted my son "Elieizer..." I called weakly. He cam over fussing over me, he got me some coffe, i lost my mind afterwards, i do not recall....... I got thirsty so thirsty, my son did everything he could to help me, eventually people started to beat me up. Finally i beeged my son to give me water, just one sip....... i knew it wasn't good for me but i no longer cared. WATER ... water water that is all i think of water i burning burning!!!!! there was a blow to my head. I felt numb i called out once more "Eliezer.." my breath became labored. Then there was darkness.... Miss Ruuamau I know that we are not supposed to have conversations on this but please e-mail me to tell me if these pictures are not appropriate. They made me cry and but i wanted to show some of what happened.

Danielle (absent):
 * same old stuff different day diary. I loved the preformance that those pieces of scum gave to us tonight at dinner. I enjoy teasing the Jews. I am their superior. Lots are starving and craving water, but I dont have any care in the world. I go up to them either eating fresh bread or have a big gulp of water. I know that isn't appropriate, but they are below me! They deserve it! THEY are the ones that started this nonsense! It's their fault that they are starving, and thirsty, and it's their fault that their families have to die in from of them. they are nothing! they mean NOTHING. Useless...**